Resulting effects of caregiver burnout.

QUESTION
MAY 29, 2019

Lenore Lenore, is 70 years old.

I need help identifying the life stages these individuals are in, along with the psychological crisis each is experiencing.

Lenore

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Lenore, is 70 years old. She often complains of being bored at home while her husband (Ralph) works. Lenore took care of her aging mother for a number of years (her mother died at 98) and may have some resulting effects of caregiver burnout. She frequently talks about why she can’t remember things when she was younger. She often talks about her father in good terms but reflects how her mother, who worked nights, never took time to look at her French homework in the morning. She recalls a lot of negative events, such as taking the bus by herself to the dentist when young or having to cook in the household as a youth.

Highlights or things that she notes as positive include technician work at a laboratory testing for health conditions, which she did after high school, and then similar work in a factory with materials testing. She found this work stimulating and interesting. She tends to mix comments about negative news with recollections about things in her past. She often says she would have liked to have studied to be a teacher, but she just didn’t find the opportunity. While she worked years ago, she is not interested in working outside the home due to some health problems, which include anxiety and Type 2 diabetes.

She is largely focused on watching television all day and printing out photographs of her grandchildren. She also is on her phone a lot during the day. She often talks about her estranged child, the challenges of reaching out to him and not hearing back, and letters she has written but not sent to him about how she feels.

In contrast with Ralph, Lenore notes that she only sees people who act poorly benefitting in life: “it seems like those who are not nice are rewarded.”

Ruby

Ruby is the middle child at age 37. Ruby tends to be quiet and mild in nature. She works in public relations at the local hospital. She speaks Spanish fluently and uses it quite a bit in her work. She is reserved and lives alone. She has three dogs and a cat that she calls her family. In her early 20s, she was engaged to marry, but the wedding was called off by her prospective partner. She dates from time to time and enjoys her long-term relationship of three years with a divorced man who has three grown children. She doesn’t have a relationship with his children.

She would like to travel more in the next years as she feels she is getting older and wants to do this while she is healthy. She tends to stay by herself, goes out to dinner with her significant other once a week, and only checks in with her parents periodically—she feels that they didn’t protect her from years of Sonny’s insults at holidays. Although she connects with her parents, she likes a solitary life and tends not to overshare with others. She would have liked to have had children but did not. This is one area of regret in her life. She does tend to reach out to her niece and nephews and has developed good relationships with them.

Danny

Danny, age 57, is Ralph’s nephew. He is divorced and owns a tool-making company. He travels overseas a lot. Danny has a close relationship with his younger sister. His sister studied in the Philippines and influenced Danny to be open to working abroad. Danny owns two homes and stops by his mother’s home frequently to help her out with anything she needs in her older years. He is an active member of the community and attends several social service organizations.

Danny has an autistic son in his 20s who has started a company in Japan. Danny has a good relationship with his former wife, Renee, and they continue to co-parent their son even though he is a young adult. They both worry about their son’s decision making as he recently married someone he just met.

Danny feels good about where he is in his career and how he has raised his son (despite some developmental challenges). On some days, he misses his father who died years ago, but he takes stock in still having his mother and sister. He hopes to pass his company on to a worker who has been with him there for years (as his son is not interested). He would like to see his life’s work carried on. Overall, he feels good even though he has slowed down a bit with challenges from gout. However, he has tried some lifestyle changes as advised by his doctor.

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